BIG NEWS!!! Big life changes in store yet again.

Thursday, July 11, 2019

We were told we could never have kids. So when we moved to San Diego it was as Dual Income No Kids, aka: DINK's. Even without a child moving to SD was hard but we were willing to struggle because we saw a life here. San Diego was the city of our dreams. We literally made a pro/con list of 10 different cities before we chose SD. 

We moved to San Diego and it took about six months of working temporary jobs before I started working with an amazing non-profit and found the job I thought I would retire from. The company has an amazing mission, my co-workers were the bomb, and my supervisor quickly became my mentor. It is hard to find one of these things in a job. To have all three is rare. 

When I took a pregnancy test in August of 2018 and it said positive my first sentence was: how will we cope?

Sure, we both made decent money but we knew with a baby on the way we would be reduced to one income. Daycare for an infant in this city costs the same each month as one of our salaries. We also had always said if we could have kids we would want to have one parent stay at home. 

The first several months of my pregnancy I was very depressed. I could not see a way out of this financial hole. Images of the shitty apartment we would be sharing with 3-4 roommates kept circling in my mind. 

January first we left our luxury apartment and moved into a cheaper place with my mom and little brother. During the six months we've shared this apartment we all evaluated our finances, quality of life, and what we want our lives to look like moving forward. 

We really struggled with this decision. We went back and forth so many times. I finally realized during my maternity leave that I would be digging into our small savings each month if we stayed and that would be on a penny pinching budget. The kind of budget where we would sit in the house and play video games because we can't even afford the gas to go to the free places we usually would frequent. We realized we could live that kind of life in a cheaper city and starting looking outside of San Diego for our next move. 

We already knew we refused to live anywhere with widely accepted bigotry or severe weather (cold, storms, etc). This pretty much ruled out large swaths of the country. When we lived in Arizona we were 1.5 hours south of Las Vegas so we got to know the city very well. I started looking into cost of living and found it to be 1/3 the cost of SD when factoring rent, power, water, gas, groceries, and a few other small things. With very similar income potential. 

Also as soon as I gave birth I decided my next goal was to purchase a home to settle down in. Since I was 16 I've moved 29 times not including living in the motor home. Most of the moves were in the same city of North Carolina but still... I want Romulus to know where home is and get those good vibes when he thinks of home. I want him to feel the way I feel when I think about the porch swing at my grandmother's house. This was never going to happen for us on one income in San Diego.

We're so glad we moved to San Diego. I like to think the good SoCal vibes had something to do with us being able to have a baby. I will always have a special place in my heart for this city and the many people we shared our lives with here. This was a very hard decision to make and trust me we looked at all angles and pondered all possibilities for a long time. 

Now it's time to make the move and begin our lives in a new city again. We will be leaving San Diego in a Uhaul on August 1st. We have already rented a temporary place for a month and have started applying for jobs. My mom and little brother will be moving with us and we will live together for the first six months to a year. 

To say I'll miss San Diego is an understatement. As my mentor told me when I gave him my notice: we must not look back. We must only look forward to a better future. I will look forward with optimism but I will also look back at all the lessons I've learned, friendships I've built, and memories of a city that accepted Robert and I just as we are. 

We are excited but nervous about this next chapter. We've moved across the country before but we've never had a baby to consider. We already know the city of Vegas and we will be very close to friends in Arizona which will be great. We like the desert and love Sin City. We don't care for the normal tourist traps but we love to grab coffee at Denny's on Freemont and watch the freak show. 

Also Vegas is a family friendly place. We don't intend to take Romulus to any adult places so we're not worried about the sin part of Sin City. We see this as a chance to build a future for our family with less financial struggle and more free time. We know it will take a few months to really land on our feet but we're good at doing what we have to do to get by. We will make sure to post updates once we get set up in Vegas. 

Thank you to everyone who made San Diego feel like home. Friends and co-workers who now feel like family we will miss you immensely. Let's keep in touch!!



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