She is having my baby.

Thursday, August 30, 2018

So we have been together now for ten years. In that time we have taken no safeguards against pregnancy. The doctors told her with her health conditions, PCOS and endometriosis, we had like a 3% chance of conceiving. So we thought that it would not happen.

We were OK with this.

We did not feel like we had to have a child to complete our life together. We imagined our future life would be filled with travel and adventure. Besides, I am 40 turning 41 soon... if we have a baby now will I still have the energy to take care of a baby? The first time I did this I was 15, and it was exhausting. We just accepted that it was not going to happen for us and moved on.

Then last week Aunt Flow never made her visit. We have had a few times when she was late. I always get a little more excited than I should, and I talk her into taking a pregnancy test. Sure enough, that is all it takes to get the blood flowing. This time it was different.

She called me in the bathroom while she sat on the bowl. All she could say was babe come here and told me to look at the stick. I said well you're pregnant as I put it back down on the counter and went back in the living room to sit in my chair.

I did not know what to think. A big part of me could not believe my eyes. I just had to sit down and let it soak in. It was like hitting the lottery. You always hope for it, but you do not think it is going to happen no matter how many tickets you buy. When you have the winning ticket in your hand, you check it like ten times before you believe it. We stared at that stick for a while, like it was a Picasso.

At first, we were not going to tell anyone. I wanted to post a picture of the test stick to every social media site, but I think there is some etiquette to these types of things. We had to call the family... our moms would be upset if they found out on facebook.

It has kind of been strange like I am living in a haze. I can not stop thinking about all the things we have to do to prepare, all the wonderful things that I have to look forward to, and all the ways our lives are going to change.

Even as I write this I find it hard to keep a train of thought. I want to write about shopping for prenatal vitamins, Baby names, and cloth diapers. But as fast as I think about one thing another pops up in my head.

We have our first first time parent class on Tuesday and we are excited. Maybe by then, I will be able to hold a thought in my head for a full minute. I am sure we will have a lot more to write about then. Right now we are trying to learn which essential oils are safe with the pregnancy and how to adjust Kayla's diet.

I know this will not exactly be an announcement as before I felt free to write this Kayla posted online. So it is just a post for me to tell anyone who wants to hear it I am going to be a daddy and I am super excited.


It's okay if Keto doesn't work for you. Here's why:

Sunday, August 19, 2018

Friends... I have been on the ketogenic diet for 18 months now. In those months I have struggled, I have cheated on my diet, I have almost given up but here's the thing... when I stick to the ketogenic diet my body feels better. Yes loosing one hundred and twenty five pounds has made me feel better but the symptoms of a health condition I have are dramatically reduced when I am starving my body of glucose.

My endocrinologist recommended the keto diet for a condition I have called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Because of the way my body processes sugar the keto diet helps provide fuel in the form of ketones instead of glucose. Starving my body of unneeded glucose reduces my anxiety, regulates my menstrual cycle, and allows my body to release weight it was holding on to before.

Prior to the keto diet I was always tired, anxious, and hungry. Since I cut back to 20 carbs per day and went all in on the diet (about six months ago) I rarely crave sugar*, I have 80% less anxiety, my cycles are regular and less painful/traumatic to my body.

Daily snack at around 10 AM.

Sure, heightened levels of focus and all the weight lost are amazing perks but... I did not start this diet to think more clearly. To be honest my main concern was not even the weight loss at first it was regulating my body/hormones/emotions.

Keto is recommended for a few conditions such as PCOS, Epilepsy, Diabetes, Autism, Parkinson's, and Alzheimer's. If you are suffering from one of these conditions I absolutely would suggest getting your shit together and starting the keto diet. What could it hurt, right?

If you do not have one of these conditions or more than 100 pounds to loose I would not suggest the keto diet. I mean sure I make it look easy but you need to understand a few things:
  1. It can be hard on your body. If you are not meticulously diligent about consuming the correct ratio's of fats, proteins, and carbs... you may as well not do it. You are going to starve your body of fuel and could end up in the hospital.
  2. It is boring. If you are a foodie who needs variety don't do keto. I seriously dislike 95% of the keto replacement recipes. I don't make keto bread or keto pancakes because they are not the real thing and they are gross. I eat the same food, literally the exact same food seven days a week because it doesn't taste like sawdust cookies (almond flour cookies) or like soggy bread (cloud bread recipe). If you are okay with having a mostly boring diet you will be alright. When you go out to eat there are options... but your friends plates will look better than yours.
  3. Its a fad for a reason... okay in the last eighteen months I would say that 80% of the people I have met have either tried keto or are thinking about trying keto. That's great and I salute people who are seeing real results on keto. I think it is utterly unhealthy though to do keto for two or three days and then binge on carbs. The entire point of the keto diet is to transition your body from burning glucose (sugar) to burning ketones (a type of fat in your body). This extreme yo-yo'ing I have seen others go through when attempting to try keto is not good. I personally do not judge anyone who has a hard time sticking to a diet. I have dieted for years prior to my diagnosis with no results if anyone understands I do... but on the other hand if you have been on a diet for four weeks and you are seeing no results take yourself to your doctor and figure out why. I feel like I need to clarify here... if you have been doing a diet for four weeks and have lost no weight there is likely something off with your hormones/thyroid/etc. 

Guys there are so many diets out there that do not change the type of fuel your body runs on... if you have 20 - 80 pounds to shed try the low-carb or whole thirty diets. Go vegan if that's your thing. But please for the love of coconut oil do not start the keto diet because it is popular. Start it because you are committed to changing your life. I use it as a tool to keep my PCOS in check... if you have PCOS or one of the many conditions it helps you should definitely try it. Listen to your body... if you are trying it by the book and you think something is wrong with you or that your body cannot tolerate the high levels of fat go to the doctor. 

*I'm not going to lie and say I never crave sugar... the week before my cycle is the only time I crave sweets but I resist and make it through using peanut butter and zero carb protein shakes as a crutch. 

You are in charge of your own life so act like it.

Wednesday, August 8, 2018

You are entitled to a drama free life, a toxin free life, a good-stable-financially healthy life... but do you have that? If your answer is anything less than yes... you have work to do. I can't do it for you or I would. I'm far from perfect and I still have work to do... but that my friends is the entire point of this post. We can all improve our lives and should.

Did you know: Your mind starts to believe something is normal after you have seen or done that thing 3-5 times. For example, that sock on the floor or the pile of bills on the table... you knew the first time you saw it there that you should put it away... but now you have walked past it three or four times. Guess what?! Until you decide to do a deep clean or focus your energy on clearing off your table it will stay there. Your mind now believes that this is where those items have always belonged. And you are okay with that...

The same can be said about our choices. 

Every good and bad thing that is happening in your life is occurring because you are allowing it to. Think about it... your choices are either keeping you stuck in a place you hate or helping you propel your life forward.

You may not believe this but... it is more comfortable for our minds if we stay in a job we hate, a relationship we hate, a town we hate, a weight/size we hate than it is for us to change. This is all due to the thing we hate being familiar to us. The blame for this also partly lays in our desire to succeed when we try something new. Most people would rather stay in the safe zone, with the covers over their head, than to try something new and fail.

There have been many times in my life where it would have been easier to remain hidden in a life that was half lived. I could have easily pulled the blankets up and settled in to a bowl of carb-heavy popcorn in front of whatever show Netflix recommended I binge watch next. I'm serious... I painted that picture so well because I have lived it... a few times.

Its only when I throw the blankets away, get off my pitty potty, evaluate how far I've come, consider my 5-10 year goals, and take action that I am able to break that cycle. I have written posts about how you can take baby-steps to leave your comfort zone. I have held peoples hands and said oh just do (fill in the blanks) when the time is right... but really that's not how I have handled my life at all. I have never waited until the time was right. If I had I would still be waiting...

What can you change now? Starting with what you have, what is one area in your life that you could improve today? What's your excuse? Is your desire to change larger than your excuse?

Several people have followed my blog for a while and love the idea of living a toxin free life but... they say I can't afford essential oils. My response, with love and respect is, neither could I. When I decided to throw out all of my health/beauty products in 2012 it was most certainly not because I could afford to replace them. I threw away full bottles of products I had scored as an extreme couponer. It hurt my soul to get rid of items that I knew I couldn't afford to replace if I changed my mind. Robert was a little pissed too because I made him throw everything out as well. I'm not sure that he liked the idea of using baking soda and coconut oil for deodorant but he did it, we did it, and I started with what I had. Later when we had a little more income, and I mean we had $20 to spare each month, I started by purchasing a wholesale account and getting one essential oil each month from a list that included almost every single doTERRA essential oil.

The same thing happened when my doctor diagnosed me with PCOS... when I knew that my inability to loose weight was not my fault I wanted to get on the pitty potty and cry about how I wish the doctors had realized this before I weighed 300, 350, 400, or 450 pounds. I got lost in the thought that it could seriously take me years to get the weight off and have a handle on my health again. I guess, after years of dieting with no results, a part of my mind had succumbed to the thought that I would always be that large. I started where I was. I realized that I could only control the choices I made moving forward. I changed my diet from vegan to keto, which was a total mind-f***, and decided that nothing would get in my way.

I'm writing all of this because I want you to know that anyone can change their life if I can. I feel like I was meant to endure the physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional health challenges that I have in order to help others see the light. Nothing happens overnight, if someone tells you otherwise they are lying. I will not lie to you.

I will be blunt and remind you that the only thing stopping you from reaching your full potential is the amount of time/energy you are willing to put in to making it happen. Full stop.

I believe in you and would love to hear about how you have overcome your challenges. Even if our stories are different, knowing that you too have had to make hard choices and have come out on the other side a better person inspires me to continue working towards my goals.

Until next time, don't let your mind trick you into believing you deserve a life half lived. Be well and put you first!


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